It's been a while since I have posted. Things have been busy around here. I will get back to our story soon. Tonight I just want to say how much I dislike the term Dead in Bed! I think it is horrible.
After diagnosis I tested faithfully every two hours through the night. Then it went to every three hours. Here we are almost two years later and I test about every four. I am exhausted. Somewhere along the road I heard the term Dead in Bed. I had no idea what that meant. So I went to my trusty pal Google to see what he could tell me. I was horrified.
These last few weeks I just can't seem to get that term out of my mind. I have woken up numerous times in the middle of the night in a panic that something has happened to Q. I have even slept in her bed for the last week. I just can't shake this something bad is gonna happen feeling.
I know that I am not alone in my fears either. This is something that happens. All the D Families out there know exactly how I feel. I really hope one day we don't have to live in fear!
It is Diabetes Awareness month and I encourage everyone to educate yourself and then go out and make a donation to help us find a cure!
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Sunday, October 23, 2011
How it all started, from what I can remember. Part 1
Looking back it seems blurry. I'm not really sure I remember how it all started but I will share what I can. The one thing I do know is as mother you know when something just isn't write. You get this feeling that you just can't explain. I know that feeling all to well.
In the days and weeks leading up to diagnosis I had that feeling almost every day. I just couldn't shake it. Quincy always had her health problems. It started when she was first born and continues to this day. She was diagnosied early on with allergies and eczema. She didn't take to nursing at all. Formula made her vomiting uncontrollable. There were countless nights that I couldn't go to bed until I cleaned up vomit from the walls, her bedding, and giving her a second bath to get it out of her hair. Not to mention all the time it took to put her lotions and cream on a second time so she wouldn't itch her skin raw. And as you could imagine the stress it put on Matt and mines relationship.
There were countless trips to the AFB Doctors, to the Doctors in town, and to the Hospital. It was in these beginning trips to the Doctors we meet Dr Udekwe and he has become a staple in our life. He was one of the first Doctors to actually take the time to listen to me and actually hear what I was saying. We had seen Dr U several times for ear infections, allergic reactions, eczema out breaks, and the all to familiar trips for pneumonia. He was so good with us. I trusted him. That's why I would
only see him.
Then came a day that Quincy just wasn't right. My first thought was the flu. So I did everything I could for her at home. It was a Saturday I think. Maybe could have been a Sunday. I do know it was the weekend because we had to see the on call Doctor. I wasn't happy about it but she needed to be seen. I wasn't to impressed with the on call doctor. I knew her from the pharmacy. But it was all we could do on the weekend. So the appointment was less than statisfying. All reasons I disliked that Doctor seemed to be reinforced. How do you let a 3 year old little girl who hasn't eatin in days, been vomiting, dehydrated but had been drinking at least a gallon of water a day, lost at least 5 pounds, just walk out of the office. Tell the parents to go home keep giving her fluids and give her a enema for constipation. Well I did exactly what she said. By the way giving a 3 year old a enma truly sucks!
As the week went on she seemed to be improving a bit. I even took her in to have her pictures professional taken. She was still drinking a lot and still vomitting. But she had been vomitting since birth. That was nothing new. She had learned to vomit in a bowl, the one we kept beside her bed, then take it and flush it. She would then bring me the bowl to wash. Did I think she was gettin better yes. Did I still have that nagging mom feeling yes!
We were approaching December. It was supposed to be a happy fun time. We were coming into the Christmas season. My boss and good friend was going to be having her second little boy any time. Quincy still wasn't right. Then one night she wet the bed. What in the world. She as been potty trained for months with no accidents. Maybe it was just a one time thing? Well it happened a second night. Ok, she has been drinking a lot. It must just have been to much before bed. I even went out and bought pull ups again. Then I started to notice that the cloths she had been wearing were getting baggy on her. She wasn't getting any taller. What is going on. I decided we had delt with this enough it was time to go back in and this time I wasn't seeing anyone other than Dr U.
I don't remember if it was the night before the appointment or a few days before Matt and I having a conversation. That was the first time the "D" word ever came up. I remember him saying she could have Diabetes. What? Diabetes? No way. She's too little for that! That doesn't run in either one of our families! He said what about Obie? Ok so one person out of everyone? No, not Quincy. It can't be. Matt's crazy.
Then came the appointment. December 9th 2009. The day our Family changed forever.
In the days and weeks leading up to diagnosis I had that feeling almost every day. I just couldn't shake it. Quincy always had her health problems. It started when she was first born and continues to this day. She was diagnosied early on with allergies and eczema. She didn't take to nursing at all. Formula made her vomiting uncontrollable. There were countless nights that I couldn't go to bed until I cleaned up vomit from the walls, her bedding, and giving her a second bath to get it out of her hair. Not to mention all the time it took to put her lotions and cream on a second time so she wouldn't itch her skin raw. And as you could imagine the stress it put on Matt and mines relationship.
There were countless trips to the AFB Doctors, to the Doctors in town, and to the Hospital. It was in these beginning trips to the Doctors we meet Dr Udekwe and he has become a staple in our life. He was one of the first Doctors to actually take the time to listen to me and actually hear what I was saying. We had seen Dr U several times for ear infections, allergic reactions, eczema out breaks, and the all to familiar trips for pneumonia. He was so good with us. I trusted him. That's why I would
only see him.
Then came a day that Quincy just wasn't right. My first thought was the flu. So I did everything I could for her at home. It was a Saturday I think. Maybe could have been a Sunday. I do know it was the weekend because we had to see the on call Doctor. I wasn't happy about it but she needed to be seen. I wasn't to impressed with the on call doctor. I knew her from the pharmacy. But it was all we could do on the weekend. So the appointment was less than statisfying. All reasons I disliked that Doctor seemed to be reinforced. How do you let a 3 year old little girl who hasn't eatin in days, been vomiting, dehydrated but had been drinking at least a gallon of water a day, lost at least 5 pounds, just walk out of the office. Tell the parents to go home keep giving her fluids and give her a enema for constipation. Well I did exactly what she said. By the way giving a 3 year old a enma truly sucks!
As the week went on she seemed to be improving a bit. I even took her in to have her pictures professional taken. She was still drinking a lot and still vomitting. But she had been vomitting since birth. That was nothing new. She had learned to vomit in a bowl, the one we kept beside her bed, then take it and flush it. She would then bring me the bowl to wash. Did I think she was gettin better yes. Did I still have that nagging mom feeling yes!
We were approaching December. It was supposed to be a happy fun time. We were coming into the Christmas season. My boss and good friend was going to be having her second little boy any time. Quincy still wasn't right. Then one night she wet the bed. What in the world. She as been potty trained for months with no accidents. Maybe it was just a one time thing? Well it happened a second night. Ok, she has been drinking a lot. It must just have been to much before bed. I even went out and bought pull ups again. Then I started to notice that the cloths she had been wearing were getting baggy on her. She wasn't getting any taller. What is going on. I decided we had delt with this enough it was time to go back in and this time I wasn't seeing anyone other than Dr U.
I don't remember if it was the night before the appointment or a few days before Matt and I having a conversation. That was the first time the "D" word ever came up. I remember him saying she could have Diabetes. What? Diabetes? No way. She's too little for that! That doesn't run in either one of our families! He said what about Obie? Ok so one person out of everyone? No, not Quincy. It can't be. Matt's crazy.
Then came the appointment. December 9th 2009. The day our Family changed forever.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
A place to vent.
Well, I have always thought about documenting my daily struggles. I just never did. As the days go on I decided I need a place to go and vent about my struggles. I am starting to learn the worst thing you can do is bottle up your feelings. It makes you very angry and bitter at life. If you are anything like me you just put a smile on your face and pretend nothings wrong and go on with you day.
I realized on Friday as I stood at work in the office with tears in my eyes that something had to change. I had just gotten off the phone with Dr Udekwe. As many of you know that is Q's pediatrician. He had just told me that Q's A1c took a huge jump. For some reason it hit me like a ton of bricks. I had all of these feeling and thought going through my mind. But true to form I put a smile on my face and pressed through the rest of the day. Well I made a phone call to my therapist/daycare provider to vent.(You can charge me extra for Friday Lynn) I also made a few trips to the bathroom to dry my eyes.
For those of you that don't know they would like Q's A1c to be below 8. Which it has been. Until now that is. It is up to 10! Not good at all. We will get more into blood sugar numbers another time. The main thing here is that the high numbers we are having causing this jump is not good for her. The side effect of high numbers for long periods of time are serious.
So back to putting the smile on and pressing on with my day. I have a 25 minute drive home from work. For some reason it seemed like a hour and 25 minutes that night. There were a few tears, some nasty words said out loud, and a lot of blame. Mostly anger at myself for not taking better care of my little girl. How could I have let it get this bad. What the hell have I been doing. And like that my drive was over and I'm sitting in Lynn's driveway. So I put the smile on my face and like that everything was fine. Or was it? Is it?
It's been 1 year 10 months and 13 days since our journey with Type 1 Diabetes started. I don't want to put a smile on my face and pretend everything is fine anymore. I don't want to poke my daughter with needles. I don't want to wake up scared in the morning to go in her room to see if she is still alive. I don't want to worry about her at school not knowing what they are feeding her. I don't want her to be the girl that gets picked on because she gets special treatment. I don't want her to be sick all the time. I don't want her to have diabetes.
I know Diabetes isn't going away. I know I'm going to live with these fears for the rest of my life. I know that I am going to do whatever I can to keep her healthy and happy. Instead of keeping things bottled up I am going to write them down, talk about it, and share our story.
I realized on Friday as I stood at work in the office with tears in my eyes that something had to change. I had just gotten off the phone with Dr Udekwe. As many of you know that is Q's pediatrician. He had just told me that Q's A1c took a huge jump. For some reason it hit me like a ton of bricks. I had all of these feeling and thought going through my mind. But true to form I put a smile on my face and pressed through the rest of the day. Well I made a phone call to my therapist/daycare provider to vent.(You can charge me extra for Friday Lynn) I also made a few trips to the bathroom to dry my eyes.
For those of you that don't know they would like Q's A1c to be below 8. Which it has been. Until now that is. It is up to 10! Not good at all. We will get more into blood sugar numbers another time. The main thing here is that the high numbers we are having causing this jump is not good for her. The side effect of high numbers for long periods of time are serious.
So back to putting the smile on and pressing on with my day. I have a 25 minute drive home from work. For some reason it seemed like a hour and 25 minutes that night. There were a few tears, some nasty words said out loud, and a lot of blame. Mostly anger at myself for not taking better care of my little girl. How could I have let it get this bad. What the hell have I been doing. And like that my drive was over and I'm sitting in Lynn's driveway. So I put the smile on my face and like that everything was fine. Or was it? Is it?
It's been 1 year 10 months and 13 days since our journey with Type 1 Diabetes started. I don't want to put a smile on my face and pretend everything is fine anymore. I don't want to poke my daughter with needles. I don't want to wake up scared in the morning to go in her room to see if she is still alive. I don't want to worry about her at school not knowing what they are feeding her. I don't want her to be the girl that gets picked on because she gets special treatment. I don't want her to be sick all the time. I don't want her to have diabetes.
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